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Finding Your Groove

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Finding the perfect groove is both an art and a science. It is also the primary task of the GroovTube Research and Development Division. Our billion dollar underground secret laboratory hums day and night with the creative energy of hundreds of the top scent researchers in the world. They toil day and night for one reason, to unlock the secret to the perfect groove.

You probably have many questions like, does the mythical "groove: even exist? What magical truths will it reveal? Should I sell all my possessions and become a hermit? The answers to these questions are: yes, all of them,and, no. But deeper questions remain. Let's start with the basics.

What is my "groove"?

Well, Jimmy, your groove is a nexus in time and space where everything is blissfully perfect. Here's an example. Let's say that you've had a long week at work. Saturday arrives and you dive into your chores. Suddenly, house clean and laundry done, you realize you have the whole afternoon to yourself. Best yet, you recently visited a dispensary and just remembered that there is a Mad Max marathon on tv today. Your groove is pulling into the station. But wait. From the ceiling above you hear the sounds of an episode of Law and Order at volume 10. Dammit! Old man Harshmellow is home. His finely tuned nose will spring into life at the first hint of devil weed in the air. You begin to wave goodbye to your groove as it starts to pull out of the station.

But wait! Again! Just then you remember what you read a few paragraphs before now. Something about underground laboratories, right? Maybe those science geeks know something. Well yes they do. Those geeks have spent a lot of time thinking about old man Harshmellow and his superhuman nose. They don't much care for old man Harshmellow and his groove killing ways. That's why they invented the GroovTube. You see, Jimmy, a GroovTube is like bubble wrap for your groove. It strips away its odor and wraps it in a beautiful scent that even Mr. Harshmellow couldn't complain about. This keeps your groove your little secret, safe from a hostile world that would like nothing more than to destroy it. As you can plainly see, the entire point of GroovTube is nothing less than making the world safe for grooves everywhere.

Well thanks for stopping by Jimmy and I hope this cleared some things up. We'll look forward to seeing you next week when we discuss which groove might be right for you.



*Editor's note: By "billion dollar underground secret laboratory" the author means a garage like structure in a Denver area neighborhood.  Also, no one knows who Jimmy is.

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